So as I am sure that you all know, I have taken a pretty long break from writing. Somewhere I moved to a really rough time in my life. I haven’t completely over come but I honestly really miss writing and figured it would only make sense to write through all that is going on. I didn’t really want my blog to be a place to come vent but then I realized that Life is a journey and I definitely don’t want people to think that I don’t have rough days too.
This past quarter has been really challenging. I have been put in a place where I have to respond and be direct where I am normally a pretty passive person. Everything that I have had to endure from others is a description of who I am or have been. I have been forced to be more direct, to follow up with people and to keep my commitments. I was really good at deflecting from the things that I don’t think that I am capable of doing. God has continuously put me on a platform that would require me to be accountable to numerous amounts of people at one time. For me it is probably the scariest thing ever. The favor that God has placed on my life has actually terrified me, mainly because I realize that I have to maintain the results. Or so I think.
I titled this post “been awhile” because I realize that it has been awhile since I have let God be God in my life. He gave me the platforms and I ran off with them leaving him at the starting line. Now I see where this has gotten me. I made a comment to my best friends that I felt bad because my life for the most part comes really easy and that I did not think it was fair to those around me to be so favored ( please note I am not saying this to toot my own horn. I am saying this as something that I have observed in my life) Instead of being thankful for it I have been excusing it. At this point I am tired of fighting God. He has so many great things planned for me and because I am having to wait for them, I have apparently convinced myself that God has forgotten about me. As I see people around me getting the very things that I have been praying for.
I went to an event for my company and the one thing that God showed me was that he was showing me not only what was possible for me and what he had planned for me but that I need to learn what it means to celebrate with others. I know God is about to accelerate things for me but I realized that in order to remain humble I have to be able to celebrate with those who are where I know I will be. It has never been a hard thing to do until now. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of things that I need to get focused on but I think the biggest thing is that I need to reconnect with God. Just be in his presence, in his stillness, in his word, in his love, in his peace. I was mad at God and really just wanted to push Him and everyone else around me away. I truly see what it means to be empty and need God. Something that I would tell you that I never understood what it even meant to be here. But now I understand and it is a terrible feeling that beyond this point I won’t take for granted again.
There is a lot of “I’s” in this blog I realize that. I realize that I need to turn that around and take me out of it. I am so grateful that no matter how far we move from God how far we run from God. He always sticks close, he always loves us and he won’t ever let us go.
Things that have helped me get through this season of my life:
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Gal 6:9
“Don’t be Tricked by feeling sorry for yourself or thinking you have no hope Read Deuteronomy 20:4 and declare #ItIsSo” Pst. Hart Ramsey Uplift
“for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4
” God allows you to see people succeed so you can learn to value relentless effort. He wants you to celebrate them #ItsJustPractice” Pst. Hart Ramsey Uplift
” I see everything so clearly. There are no drawn lines and boundaries on the land. People fight over arbitrary lines they draw on a map when all we need to do is move the lines in our minds” The Sword and the Stone
“Just go for it” Dream about me from an associate at my job.