Featured Writer

God’s Provision

So here we go, I have been invited to share with you all my testimony on a previous relationship. This was a huge thing for me. I went back and forth on “I got this!!” to “noo I cant do it!!!” I have always been a long term commitment type of girl. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a relationship for three years and obviously planned on being together longer. Of course. Well my mom met the love of her life and decided  to move in with him. I was given the option to either move in with my mom, move in with my boyfriend or move in with my grandmother. When you’re so deeply in love of course you’re going to want to move in with the person you’re in love with. He and I dated for three years and lived together for one year. You know the saying once you live with someone you see each others true colors. Everything was great before we moved in together. Everything was great until he decided to quit his job. He came home one day and told me his decision to leave his job. I was completely shocked because he did not have another job lined up. I tried convincing him not to, but he insisted on quitting and he said he would find another job ASAP. So of course he quit … 9 months after quitting his job he was still unemployed.

I’m pretty sure you can see how my life took a complete 360° from living with my mother taking care of me to me taking care of myself with a ton of bills. I went from having no bills to having every single bill you can imagine as far as rent , power, both of our cell phone bills, gas and groceries and so on. Of Course like any driven woman she going to do whatever she can to make ends meet. So the first month went by everything seemed kind of normal well the second month came around and so did the bills. I was getting as much overtime as I could and not spending a dime unless it was needed to be spent on us. Unfortunately, I suffer from chronic migraines and stress is a huge trigger for my migraines. After the nine months go by I’m stressed, depressed, and very unhealthy, due to the constant stress. Let me just say that God’s provision is amazing. I believe 100% that God put me in that situation to show me the bright side and the dark side of how it would be if I continued this relationship with him. Now don’t get me wrong this guy is a great guy. We can still call each other and talk on the phone for a straight hour and laugh the entire time. I just had this huge feeling in my heart that there had to be something MORE for me.

Well during this tough nine months I decided to join a L.I.F.E group through my church. L.I.F.E stands for living in freedom everyday. I had several women in my prayer circle praying that God’s Will  be done in my relationship. FINALLY after nine months he did get a job. Everything looked great on the outside once he got his job back. On the inside, I was so broken hearted and God had shown me so many things during those nine months that I just completely disconnected myself relationally between my ex and myself. One night we were watching tv and I mentioned that I was thinking about moving in with my grandmother to give us a break from living together. He was not for it and really wanted me to stay. When we first moved in I was all in for marring this guy. Thanks to God’s Grace I know God showed me that situation for a reason. God was showing me that he has already knitted together a man perfect for me. And unfortunately, this just wasn’t the case. By the time of the end of our relationship I was completely disconnected from marriage and he was on the opposite end, he actually decided that he wanted to be married now. He was very close to a proposal to me and then I decided to break off our relationship before he ended up proposing. One week down the road, same situation we were laying in bed and he RANDOMLY said “Hey what do you say if you move in with your grandmother for a while and we just have a break from each other?” I guess once I mentioned it he thought hard on the topic and realized the disconnect that had existed during this difficult time. Of course once he asked me that I was devastated due to a week prior he did not want me to leave.

So of course the next morning I called my mom and I’m devastated. I’m in tears and all it takes is your mother bringing out the light in every situation. She actually mentioned to me “Deavonna why are you so upset? This is what you and your whole entire prayer circle have been praying for this whole time that God’s will be done and  if this relationship is not for you both then it will end on a mutual note.”

It was a Friday night he and I had that conversation well.. that following Sunday morning I was moving out. As I stepped foot into Church, the following Sunday morning. I felt God literally raise a huge burden that had been on my shoulders for over a year. You know the saying “I feel light as a feather.” I literally felt light as a feather. I was so excited and I felt like there were chains literally broken off of me. I almost wanted to run around through the church and jump for joy. I had been carrying the burden of constantly living in sin with someone that I was not married to but going to church, serving and trying to live out a Christian lifestyle. Since the END of this relationship and the START of the new beginning of my life God has opened so many doors for me that I was actually keeping closed due to the fact of the situation always keeping myself in. So the moral of my testimony is when God places something on your heart please be obedient. Deuteronomy 28:1 If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, The Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. So just a little motivation even if your relationship doesn’t end in marriage remember this ONE thing. Man’s rejection is God’s protection.

-Deavonna

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