With it being the What is Love? series I thought it would be a good idea for me to share my own relationship story. So to preface it, God always has a way of making sure that nothing interrupts his plan for our lives. He blocks things out and moves things around so that they don’t hinder us. He even gives a certain limit of stupidity before dropping the hammer… When God has a calling on your life he won’t let you or anyone else ruin that. Nothing stops his plans for you, not even you. I wanted so bad to be in a relationship with someone that God never intended for me but boy did God show me. He has a notorious record for shutting down any type of relationship that I tried to get myself in with in two days. What I mean by that is maybe the time the person and spent time together for a while but whenever we tried to progress it he shut it down. In order to notice a pattern it has to happen on several occasions….well you can guess that it has happened often if I can write a blog about it.Eventually, I got the hint. Sorry in advanced if it is long I will break it up into stories so you can come back to it if you have to.
To my mom and dad: ummmm sorry? LOL Some of these you know some you don’t. (transparent moment) Love you guys and thanks for being my portrait of marriage and love!
Housekeeping: There will be a lot of commentary because honestly this is probably the funniest part of my life, if you see me inserting “Ha-ha’s” or “LOL” or “Bwahahahaha” it is because I am literally laughing out loud while writing this. Any time the idea of Two comes into play I will put it in bold. Lastly, through out the blogs I may refer to the person I am talking about as “attempt#” so some don’t get confusing and to keep the identities of those who are involved. Because it is not about them and they aren’t the focus, oh and for people who may know who I am talking about… I ask that you also not be a name dropper, if you are the person I am talking about…thanks for the lesson aaaannnd you made the cut!. Let’s Go!
Story 1: So for the most part of my life I have been single ( yay, side eye). When I was younger I never really cared but we all hit puberty at some point and our eyes are opened. (I just had to chuckle because as I am writing this I remembering stories and how far back they actually go and how I can really see this is my story) Actually thats not true. The first person (attempt1) I ever talked to/dated, what ever its called when you are in daycare, was in daycare. Stop, I know what you are thinking… “Day care Chelsee??? That doesn’t count.” Oh but it does! Daycare was the first time my little noodle self loved a boy ( at least at the time that is how I felt. I always said that if I met him in the future we would get married bwahahaha!) Anyway so I guess thats where it all started. I remember when I found out that he was moving we used to play together during outside time, I believe two before he moved away I kissed him in one of the little jungle gym tunnels….( sorry mom).
Story2: I was in elementary school. So Attempt2 would always pick on me (iconic). If we worked in group projects he would try to mess mine up. He would call me names or ask questions like “why are you so skinny” (rude) eventually he had enough boldness to tell me that he wanted to date me….. for two days he asked me on the second day I told him ok, I didn’t really know how that would work because I wasn’t supposed to be dating. I told my brother about attempt2 asking me to date him and my brother told me that if he hurt me, he (my brother) would come beat him up. So I finally consented to Attempt2 and was very sure to tell him that if he did anything to break my heart my brother would beat him up. That day on the playground…..he broke up with me (UGH).
Story 3: It is actually kind of hard to chronicle this but I think the next was in jr. high. Attempt3 had just moved from another state and I was actually friends with his cousin. I remember everyone was so excited that we had a new kid in school ( you know how that goes) all the girls were talking about how cute he was and how they were gonna talk to him and all this girlish stuff that girls do when they are boy crazy. I never thought anything about it or really cared. I remembered we rode he bus together as well as his cousin, my friend, she kept telling me that he liked me. I didn’t really care or so I thought. I talked to him on the phone one day and from that point we decided to date. The first day back to school he totally ignored me. I don’t know why I was waiting for him to acknowledge me but it didn’t happen. The whole day went like that and I could not figure out why.. same thing on the bus ride home. The next day, day two, when I got to school ( he ignored me that day too) a whole bunch of people came up to me and they kept telling me that Attempt2 had another girlfriend. I went and asked the girl about it and she said that the day before he had asked her to date him… So together we both went to ask him about it and he denied that he was ever dating me. I was shocked. It’s not like I asked YOU to date ME! ( this was where my insecurities in myself started to bud, and you can see how it blossoms throughout my life). Some how we ended up friends and we just never even acknowledged that it even happened.
Story 4: I am trying to to figure out which one I should tell next I have a small story that I could place here but…it wasn’t real like a thing that was shut down.. it just never actually happened. I guess I will tell it. Attempt4 I had THE BIGGEST crush on. Like I was almost obsessed with him. This was probably the first guy that I actually told my mom that I had a crush on. We had a few classes together and I used to always try to figure out if he even really liked me or ways that I could tell him that I did. After a really tragic storm my parents were about to move us a little more north in our state. Well things didn’t go the way we thought so we ended up going to back to our old home for a few more months.Well after a while I got the courage to give him a note to tell him how I felt. After that I found out that we were moving. When we got established where we were I found out about Two weeks later that he was going to tell me that he liked me but I moved away…. I was mad.
Story 4 1/2: I am including this one but I don’t think the day two law applies. But it is part of my relationship testimony. Over the summer when myspace (yes, myspace) was a thing I started talking to someone Attempt41/2 who was in the same state as me but just a few hours away. We had talked but I let it go after awhile because at my dads house (my parents are divorced) my mom and stepdad didn’t even want us to have MySpace ( I guess I am more of a rebel than I thought….man) anyway so I got back in contact with him the next summer and we talked for almost two or three years, we then eventually decided to date (yes long distance, no we never met, yes it was dumb, and no it did not work out) we would Skype all the time and talk on the phone all the time. My sister knew about him… We attempted to try to meet up two times at a public event but it never worked out (Had to be God). Then my dad (step-dad) found out about it and that was the end. I ended it two days later I ended it. Attempt41/2 was mad about it but I was more worried about my dad so I kinda didn’t care. We did connect again but never to that extent .
Story 5: The next person,so Attempt5 this was high school time. We had a foreign language class together. We sat two seats a part with someone in between us, he would always pick on me or call me out when we would be in class and it didn’t help that my teacher would used people that she realized had a like for each other or dating each other in her examples. It was so embarrassing lol. (By the way she was an AWESOME teacher!) Anyway he played a sport and I was in band and we used to hang out and talk when we both got out of practice. He would ask how I felt about him and if I would ever date him (I think I can’t remember for sure about that second part) but I remember telling him my parents didn’t want us dating but that didn’t stop him from showing his interest in me.
By this point a lot of people got the hint that we were interested in each other. A little while later a friend came up to me and told me that Attempt5 and his friend was talking and that his friend was making fun of me and that Attempt5 never stood up for me. He didn’t say anything about me he just never said anything to stop the friend from talking about me. It was my friend that stepped in to stop it. I was pretty mad about it and just stopped talking to him (yes, I did pull the silence treatment) . He noticed it obviously and asked me about it, when I finally told him why I was mad he denied it ever happened. After that conversation he became very distant and then two days later someone approached me and told me he was talking to another girl who had a similar build and a similar name as me, she was just a grade under us. At this point I was ready to explode. I couldn’t understand why is it that every one that I try to talk to has to do this? Like what did I do to deserve it?? I’m just being nice. Well first I was trying to be in relationships that God had not called me too or prepared for me. I was hurt and with the stories after this it only got worse.I am just now realizing how much worse they started to get. They progressively got worse the last one I will tell was like the icing on the cake for sure.
So I think this would be a great place to break. The next stories are longer and a lot more emotional. But honestly every single one of these got me to where I am now and helped me realize what God wanted from me. It hasn’t been easy and I definitely have had my heart broken and became very insecure in myself. I probably didn’t break out of that entirely until my Jr./Sr. years of college.
So to get to the really good stories you will have to wait until next week. See you then!