I am so excited that my best friend was able to be vulnerable and open her heart to tell you guys how she has handled purity! Here is her story!
I found myself in a place where I never thought I would be. See, I had just broke up with this guy whom I loved, and thought I would one day marry. Lie! He broke my heart and stripped me of confidence, of peace, and even the ability to love. See, I had placed all my value in a man, a mere human that was just as messed up. I worshiped my relationship with him. So, my freshmen year of college I went into depression and I coped by being promiscuous, drinking, partying, and just being impure. I found my confidence in the guy I was laying next to that night. Essentially, I promised myself I wouldn’t get serious with another man ever again. I had decided that I would have a playbook and they would be my pawns on my chessboard.
Until, one day I woke up and asked myself what was I doing? I was supposed to be living the high life, I was so involved in everything, I knew some of everybody and still I found myself DEAD! I was DEAD on the inside! Leading but DEAD! Being a role model but DEAD! Being in my sorority but DEAD! Laying next to men but DEAD! Being a friend but DEAD! Partying but DEAD! Do you hear me? Babe there was no life in me!
Towards the end of my sophomore year, I realized that I had to do something. The search was on, I went looking for life again but sadly I didn’t turn to God and purity first. I read self help books. Since my issue was with men I read the infamous “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” book it didn’t help me. I read a book about communicating with men it didn’t help me either. I was looking for my voids to be filled through a relationship. So I did all I could to get men to like me because I thought that “this earthly relationship” would cure me of the hurts I was going through after my ex. At this time I couldn’t even admit that he hurt me y’all! I was determine to “replace him” to make sure a man like him never got near me again but I always ran back to his kind. The hardest part of all was carrying a broken heart, living an impure life, and living as if I had it all together. It’s the worse!
Slowly, I fell apart even more in my personal life. I had a false confidence in myself that resembled pride. I was a tyrant leader, and I found myself in the limelight because I had just crossed over into my sorority. I had pretended for so long I didn’t know who I was anymore. There I was in the spotlight, and I couldn’t handle the glare. I cracked. It was then that I completely chose God, His way, and the Life that He would choose for me.
I remember the first time He spoke to me. I was in my dorm room at the time crying just sobbing because I was hurting and I was too afraid to admit to myself the true state of my soul. I had so many band-aids, and I was afraid to look upon my festering sores. I thought they were way to dirty for God to see let alone be close too. However, just the opposite happened.
In paraphrasing God spoke and said “I love you, and there is nothing that I can’t see. There is nothing I can’t heal, and nothing that’s to far beyond My repair”.
I surely felt that way! I felt so little, so dirty, and so far beyond repair. I felt like I would NEVER love again, partly because I vowed I wouldn’t but God showed me the truth. He loved me, I am beautiful in His eyes, and that He is near me! Always! God is good y’all!
Even after He told me those things and I began to get in His Word I still wasn’t perfect. I was still having sex here and there but it was never the same, because once you’ve encountered God and experienced the light of God the darkness will never be a comforting place again. So, I continued to grow close to God! I began praying through my heart issues and the first thing He asked me to let go was sex. Honestly, I was quite happy too. I found myself willingly crying out to Him saying yes! I realized through prayer and revelation that the only way I could get close to the light again was letting go of darkness, sin, impurity, and sex. I wanted freedom more than anything at this point in my life.
Then God began to speak to me! I was amazed! Not to mention, I began to experience God’s love for me. Like God really did love me. I didn’t have to do anything extra either but let go of sex and anything that was tainting our relationship. I LET IT GO TOO! Like a hot cake in a bare hand!
I wanted God’s presence near me all the time because that is where I was free! (2 Corinthians 3:17) Every time He spoke I listened. Not to mention God would tell me what He put inside me and how He made me. He loved it! I could hear how excited God was to finally commune with me even as He was correcting me. God rebuilt my confidence in Him instead of this world. I began to trust again and even love again. I was now honored to hold the things, which He placed inside of me instead of counting the things that men bestowed upon me as more valuable.
God redeemed me. I was the prodigal daughter. They don’t tell you about her lol! She was something serious! I chose a life other than what God wanted for me and I went through some stuff while living that life. It was almost as if I was the punching bag and life was the boxer. At the time before God, life was winning. I was swimming in mud in hopes of it turning to clean water. I was that girl, until I embraced my Father, my Lover, and my Best friend God.
You do not have to live your life in a pit of mud, in darkness, or even in promiscuity. A life filled with freedom, joy and love is available to us through Jesus Christ. I pray against the doubt you may be experiencing right now as you read these words. The enemy will try to convince you that you shouldn’t come to God and that you shouldn’t live a pure life but I leave you with this question: How is your life right now without embracing God? The enemy will try to tell you that this life isn’t for you and that only certain people can be pure. That’s a lie from the pit! You choose what you want to be. Purity is your choice. And it is the consequences of our choices that determine the kind of life we can lead. Sin = DEATH (Romans 6:23) and Purity= Life and FREEDOM(Matt. 5:8).
One thing I can say is that this life with God is worth it. I will never return to my old life. I was so oppressed and weighed down by my own choices I was suffocating under the weight of it all. Now I can breath! I have been restored.
Don’t get me wrong remaining pure after being exposed is not always easy but it is a daily choice to choose purity and to choose God. It takes being truly intentional about removing anything out of your life that causes you to slip back to impurity. Ever since I decided to begin walking in purity I realized my relationship with God has become more intimate, my relationship with people is more genuine, and I am protected from the hurts of the world that previously plagued my life. God wants to be near you and He wants you to be free. Remember you are NEVER too far away where God cannot get to you. He is waiting, looking for you to come home right now!
Don’t forget it’s the movement that counts! As you take a couple steps towards Him, He will run to you!
Don’t wait to run towards Him! Pray right now to receive Him into your heart or recommit your heart to Him.
I don’t know what I am doing. I have been living a life that has not included You. Forgive me Lord for going my own way Lord Jesus. Save me. Help me to walk in purity and love from this day forward. I make you Lord of my life; I surrender to You now all that I have just so I can live a life worthy of living. In Jesus name! Amen!
I’m so excited for you! Now run to God and don’t look back. Get connected with older believers who will hold you accountable in the purity process, stay in His Word, and simply love God!
Tiffany has her own blog, you can check it out at www.tiffanyjholloway205.com
To find out how to be a featured writer click here. Love you guys!
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Romans 8:1-2